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Thursday, 26 September 2013

Once Beaten Twice Shot!


Dear Readers,

Sincere apologies for my long cessation from blogging. I have been preoccupied with attending to some other budding personal projects that needed so much of my time, creative energies and attention.
I promise to be back fully sooner than you think. In the meantime, i came across a highly educative and enlightening blogpost by a friend and blogger Aj (Ajumoke Nwaeze) and thought to share it with you today.
I do hope you enjoy the read. Feel free to drop your comments and also download the video and song accompanying the video.
Here's the article:


Once Beaten, Twice Shot!

                                                                Most men who beat women cheat on women.


“Men are physically stronger than women but have no place abusing that power.”

This was the end quote for my video "Could This Be"

Writing that song was the first step, recording it was another, but the hardest part was listening to the song over and over, and plotting a video that best expressed the words of the song.

*Singing*

These words that you say everyday, every minute,
These words cut so deep and even hurt me,
These words make me think am no good and so unworthy,
These words that you use and abuse
When you tell me you love me you turn back and hit me,
You give me a reason to doubt,
Could This Be Love......?

I'v always wanted to learn karate or even kung-fu, because I'v always had scenerios where I wished I could do something to defend myself,a friend or a random person from a violent cause.
It is no news that domestic Violence, domestic abuse, battery, call it any name you wish... is becoming a regular ordeal in modern relationships.This pattern of behaviour involves the abuse by one partner against another in an intimate relationship such as marriage, cohabitation, dating or within the family.

WHY MEN HIT THEIR SPOUSES

Most women beaters suffer from low self-esteem, they feel intimidating their spouse with their strength will make them more of a man, with this they feed their ego which gives them a measure of superiority and control over their partner.

Perpetrating their violence on physically weaker women, does it prove that they are truly men of strength, or does it prove, instead, that they are unreasonable? Is it really manly for a stronger male to beat up a weaker, more defenseless female?

I rather think a real man should know his strength and use it to protect his spouse, not use this strength to prove his authority over her. Well...women are not the only victims of domestic abuse, some men are also hit by their wives/girlfriends. (But in rare cases)




Although most victims don't like talking about it, domestic violence is fast becoming a trend and occurs in various forms:
*Physical abuse: hitting, kicking, biting, shoving, restraining, slapping, throwing objects, etc.
*Emotional abuse; controlling or domineering, intimidation, harsh words, neglect, stalking, trespassing, harassment, etc.
NB: All forms of abuse follow same pattern, and if not checked, will only increase over time, and might end in disaster.
Just because you aren’t being physically punched, slapped, or kicked doesn’t mean you may not be in an abusive relationship.
Here are some questions to ask yourself, they will help you determine whether or not you are in an abusive relationship:
• Does my spouse ever try to physically stop me from leaving the room?
• Does my spouse ever push me, grab me or my clothing, or hold me against my will?
• Does my spouse ever tell me to kill myself?
• Does my spouse ever threaten to hurt me for any reason?
• Does my spouse ever point a weapon of any kind toward me, or him/herself?
• Does my spouse ever use words that cut me like a sword?
• Am I afraid of my spouse?




These questions are not gender exclusive. If you answered yes to any of them, your relationship is fear based and you are in danger of being a victim of domestic violence.
I for once have seen the signs of an abusive relationship, ignored it, until I tasted the hit, and later handled it (although it was handled differently from the way I did in the video). I also know so many females who are physically abused on a daily basis but fail to address the issue...thinking "He will Change". My dear don't let the saying "once bitten, twice shy" turn to "Once beaten, twice shot".
The truth is if he has done it once, there is a higher tendency that he'll do it again, over and over. Maybe these Facts about Domestic Violence would encourage your will to be free.
• Verbal abuse is also threatening because it always precedes physical abuse.
• Injuries from verbal and emotional abuse can run deep and leave lasting scars.
•1 in 4 women will be a victim of domestic violence in their lifetime – many of these on a number of occasions.
•On average, in the US, 2 women a week are killed by a current or former male partner.
•Women are more likely to be killed by an intimate partner than men
•Women ages 20 to 24 are at greatest risk of becoming victims of domestic violence.
•Every year, more than 3 million children witness domestic violence in their homes.
• A child witnessing his mother being battered is equivalent to the child being battered
• Studies show that one third of children who witness the battering of their mothers demonstrate significant violent behaviours.
• Boys who witness their father abuse their mothers are more likely to inflict severe violence when they become adults.
• Girls who witness maternal abuse are more likely to tolerate abuse as adults.
• Children from abused homes often have relationship and marital problems as adults.
•Children who live in homes where there is domestic violence also suffer abuse or neglect at high rates (30% to 60%).
•A 2005 Michigan study found that children exposed to domestic violence at home are more likely to have health problems, including becoming sick more often, having frequent headaches or stomach aches.
• Children are more likely to intervene when they witness severe violence against a parent –which can place a child at great risk for injury or even death.
•Domestic violence is most likely to occur between 6 pm and 6 am.
•More than 60% of domestic violence incidents happen at home.
• The cycle of violence takes place in three stages:
Tension Building Stage- Misunderstanding, harsh words, Quarrels
Acute Battering Stage-Slapping, hitting, fighting
Honeymoon Stage- Oh! I’m so sorry, I will never do this to you again, I’ll make it up to you. (Of course we know what they always make it up with....Make up....Kit) but then the cycle starts all over again.

If you are in a relationship and you've gone through this cycle more than twice...then it’s time to do something about it.



1) Opt out
If you're so much in love and you can't "Opt out" of a relationship that can cost you your life or body parts.
2) Seek counsel from a professional warfare officer
3) Pray for God to change him/her
4) Sign up with me for defence class. (Just kidding)

If you can't implement any of the above four...hmmmmmm! I wish you all the best
"HAPPY BOXING CAGE LIFE"
Get inspired by this video
SAY NO TO DOMESTIC ABUSE !!!
Watch it on YouTube Here: http://bit.ly/15wn7rW

Follow Aj on Twitter @Aj_Ajumoke and Read her blog posts here : http://bit.ly/16LsJcD

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