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Saturday, 13 September 2014

#Definitions101: My Witty and Funny Definitions



When I look at the dictionary sometimes, I wonder why it is so hard to find definitions that actually relate to and apply to reality.

Anyways, I'm not an English Language Professor, but I think I have been able to come up with some easy and "un-complicated" definitions -unlike the dictionary-  to some frequently used words and phrases.

Let the classes begin!


#Definitions101
Q: Who is a Leader?

A: A leader is a person who sees something going wrong or needing to be done, and feels a strong itch in the butt to get up and fix iit


Q:  Who is a creative ggenius

A:  A creative genius is that person who spends countless hours in the closet churning oit creative ideas, while shitting or running water over his head in the shower.


Q: Who is a blogger?

 A: A blogger is a person who writes stuff, posts pictures and videos just to get traffic to his site for whatever reason.


Q: What is Further Mathematics?

 A: Further Mathematics is that extension of mathematics that seeks to make everything equal to whatever it is "they" put on the other side of the equation.


Q: What is Integrity?

 A: Integrity is the ability to get three or more people to stand surety for you without getting them and yourself arrested.


Q: What is the best place to invest your money?

 A: The best place to invest is where thieves, rodents, decay, inflation, stockbrokers and all manner of conmen cannot get to.


Q:  What is the Ideal Wedding Present?

 A:  The Ideal wedding present is either a Condom (for those who dont want kids) or Baby Daipers (for those who want kids).

Q:  What is the difference between a Salesman & a Conman?

 A:  One man sells you everything, the other sells you nothing. But both go home with your money.


Q:  Who loves more in a relationship - Man or Woman?

 A:  The one who is at the receiving end 51% of the time.


Q:  Who is a Religious Person?

 A:  A person who believes one routine and sticks to it even though he cannot understand or substantiate it.


Q:  Who is the most religious person on the face of the earth?

 A:  A Nigerian.


Q:  What are your own witty and funny definitions?

 A:  Drop your comments in the comment box.
Join the conversation, let me know what you think.


Use the hash tag on twitter #Definitions101 or follow @PmoneyTalks

Written by Precious Nwanganga  © 2014

Follow him on twitter @Pmoney_Talks
Email him on buzzfizzle@gmail.com

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